The Diligent Little
Black Book
Jordie Struck
October 5th, 2020
In my brown leather shoulder bag, I have a little black book from Moleskine. It is unlined, and pocket-sized, always accessible when I need it. It contains the name and a brief description of everyone I meet. It is an invaluable tool for anyone who has difficulty remembering names, as I do.
I started this practice about two years ago, and by now I must have recorded over two hundred names and descriptions. A few things that I noticed along the way were that I started to remember names more often, my anxiety when seeing people that I had only quickly and casually met even once decreased, and people were happier to see me again.
I usually write down the name of everyone I meet as soon as I have an opportunity. I don’t consider it polite to pull out my book and write in their name in front of them, but as soon as I have a moment to myself, I write down their full name (when possible) with a small description about them (place of work, position, physical description, personal/professional notes), and when and where I have met them. When I have a spare moment, either on the metro (which I consider the most productive form of transit) or waiting for a client, I review my notes and try to recollect our encounter. Not only has this helped me remember people more easily, but I also have less difficulty remembering peoples’ names even without having logged them in my little black book.
Being able to remember peoples’ names more easily has significantly reduced my anxiety when I am in a professional situation. Many times, when I didn’t remember someone’s name, I would be so preoccupied with trying to place their name that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on what I had to say. I couldn’t focus on the business at hand. Not only that, I felt a wave of guilt. I felt as if I didn’t respect or care about those people enough. The truth was that I just had a bad memory for names. Now I am relaxed, I feel in control of the room, and I can focus on the task.
Being more focused and relaxed has allowed me to act more naturally. I can make witty banter and move the conversation along in the right direction. People respond very well to that feeling of ease and lightness. They feel comfortable with me because I am comfortable. That feeling makes them happier to be with me and to see me again. It’s uncomfortable to be with someone who isn’t genial or comfortable themselves. Freed of the weight of not remembering a person’s name has made all my encounters more productive, fruitful, and pleasurable.
I cannot suggest strongly enough that you should get a little black book for yourself. It should be a requirement in many businesses. It is such a simple thing and takes no time or effort, but the results are astounding. Now my biggest worry is not remembering everyone in the room or what they do, but how I am going to land those big contracts. Simplify your life today and invest in a little black book of your own, the dividends far outweigh the investment.