In late 2018, I started searching for inner clarity using a popular meditation app easily recognizable by its orange circle logo. After almost two years of use, I would like to share some of the changes I observed as a semi-regular user.

As someone who has an abundance of energy and regular levels of anxiety, I am always looking for ways to calm down, focus, and get out of my own head. I like to think of myself as a creative person, and my mind is full of ideas, but if I gave time and space to every idea that came to mind, my productivity would suffer. So, achieving some sort of clarity and presence of mind has always been a battle. I have tried counting objects such as Buddhist prayer beads, repeating mantras, and dabbling in various forms of meditation since I was a teenager. Nothing worked for long.

At one point, I was working two full-time jobs, completing a master’s in anthropology, playing for three hockey teams, and sleeping a grand total of three or four hours a night. My constant busyness kept my energy and anxiety in check. But my physical and mental health suffered during those years, and I had to step back from the fast pace. I ended up taking a year off to finish my thesis and travel through Asia.

When I returned to normal life, once again I lost my focus and calm. I was fully rested, eating properly, and only had one or two projects on the go at a time. But it was not sufficient for someone of my disposition. I became a scatter-brain again. My mind would jump from idea to idea millions of times per hour. I was unnecessarily stressed and anxious. That was when my brother mentioned that he had started using a new meditation app, and that it was really helping him find some clarity and reduce his stress. So, I decided to join him on his quest and signed myself up.

The effects of meditation are not instant, they are cumulative; the changes are not felt immediately, they take time to build up. Meditation is like filling a large vase drip by drip with water. At first, you don’t realize you’ve added anything, but after a while, it becomes evident the vase is filling. However, the vase has a small hole in the bottom, and liquid can slowly escape, requiring you to replenish it faster than it drains.

Here are three observations about the effects meditation has had on me.

First, I think much more before I speak. Before meditating, I was as proficient at spewing verbal diarrhea as one could be. Now, this isn’t all a bad thing. In a brainstorming session, thinking “on the fly” can be highly effective. However, it is far less effective in cultivating healthy relationships, speaking with loved ones, or communicating in professional settings. What meditation did was enable me to take ten seconds to reflect on what I intended to say. It allowed me to formulate an idea, step away from it, observe and analyze it, and then and only then, decide whether to express it or bury it. Quite frankly, that sort of short delay is invaluable.

Secondly, I sleep far better. I remember very clearly that when I was a child, it would take me 60 to 90 minutes to fall asleep every night. My ability to fall asleep hadn’t improved later in life. I had tried everything: sleep masks, ear buds, blackout curtains, you name it. None of it had any lasting influence. Now I use Headspace’s sleep section to fall asleep. The aids include stories told by a soothing female or male voice. They are usually about 45 minutes in length, but I never stay awake to the end. I am out in no time.

Thirdly, I understand myself more than I ever have before. I can also relate much more easily to other people’s feelings, to the point of being able to advocate for their actions even when that task is not so easily done. Instead of feeling misunderstood and “different” from the people around me, I realize that I feel very much the same as most people, and I recognize that actions are based much more on circumstance than personality. All of this has culminated in my being far less abrasive and uncompromising with other people and with myself.

Many people suffer from sleeplessness, confusion, and unclear or unconsidered ideas. Meditation and the app have worked for me. Try it. You can’t put a price on mental clarity.

*Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape, or form being compensated by Headspace for this article or any other actions I take to promote their product. I regularly suggest the app to my clients, friends, and family, but only because I believe in the product and its use.